So I have begun running again. Running where? I'm not sure, the goal feels as abstract as it did before. But even so, each day I have been running with my friend at a local park.

While running in and of itself is painful what feels worse is all the benches on the path. As if it is not enough to have the sun beating down on you there are benches all over urging you to take a break.

I only managed to finish the path today by saying to myself "I AM IN CONTROL! LOOK MAN IN THE MIRROR! I'M STRONG TOO!"

Tomorrow is another day, but at the moment I must keep working on this debate case which is probably even more abstract than that goal I'm running too.

Man in the Mirror

Two days before the world lost its King I discovered the amazing music of Michael Jackson.

Going back and listening to his songs I am deeply touched by his song, "Man in the Mirror" which is the first song in Moonwalker (correct me if I'm wrong).

While I was sitting there listening to it, I was reminded of Jimmy Carter's Malaise Speech. While I am not sure where the first connection appeared in my mind, but reading the speech with Michael's song in the background really added something to the speech. It felt just right.

I feel as though I must look at the man in the mirror. Is this a man worthy of leading? Is this a man that people need? What can this man do? What is the source of his problem? He must change his ways if he is to be the leader that people need.

Getting Out of the House

I've been leaving the house a lot more. I'm pretty accustomed with the inside of this house and I figure I should probably get accustomed with the outside world. I was mostly inspired by the title of one of Rousseau's books he wrote later on, Reveries of a Solitary Walker (which I still need to read).

It's nice to see trees swaying in the wind and to hear the rustling of leaves. The occasional other human being is nice to see too. It's much better out there than in here. I think I'll start talking about more of my adventures out there. I do some of my best thinking when I walk.

I heard Rousseau spent a lot of time looking at trees and walking towards the later years of his life when he began to lament the past choices of man. I too walk to contemplate and resolve issues. While I can't grow ideally as Rousseau set forth, I have to grow somehow.

Brimming with banal intent, I am "mourning" the loss of the King of Pop. For one thing I did not know him personally, but it's like a hero dying. He was a visionary who brought something new to the table. Yes, he was a weirdo who was in a sense a pariah, but he did so much. He was the most successful entertainer and a humanitarian.

Because he was a social outcast, sadly there are people who don't look beyond that. But even so, he was someone who helped usher in a new era and that era is dying along with him. However, unlike American Idol stars, he won't be soon forgotten.

Long live the King.

So I finally dragged myself out of bed to attend church.

amidst doubt of new knowledge

passions dormant awake

A desire to grow and change is renewed.

The concept of a Servant Leader did not exactly seem new to me, but at this point I felt as though a new light had made itself apparent to me. Of course I shall not explore this, but the concept of turning the social order on its heel and the idea that leadership exists only in the place of servitude is beginning to make sense.

As the great one took on the duty of the low ones,

hearts changed.

I have said it once, and I shall say it again; the character of Jesus of Nazareth is an example to all mankind. To believers he is holy, to others he is a blasphemous beast. To ignore years of talk and to go straight to scripture to see his life and to see the incredible example he set forth is worth more than all the opinions in the world. Look at him with a heart ready to learn.

Look at the world with that heart and you've already taken a step in the right direction.